Picture Book Refrains
By Marcie Flinchum Atkins

What is it that gives a picture book that rereadability or allows for reader participation? What gives a picture book that remembering quality, like it's our favorite song?

Refrains can often give a picture book those qualities. Should every picture book have a refrain? Definitely not. But as you are revising, it is something you can try to see if it works for your particular manuscript.

A refrain in a picture book is a word or set of words that's repeated at various times throughout the text.

I looked at different examples of books with refrains and found a few common categories in the set of books.


Reader Participation

Sometimes the refrain makes the readers want to chant and participate in reading the book.

Monsters Don't Eat Broccoli
By Barbara Jean Hicks, illustrated by Sue Hendra
Knopf, 2009

In Monsters Don't Eat Broccoli, the refrain is:

"Fum, foe, fie, fee, monsters don't eat broccoli!"

It is spoken by characters in the book who are actually children pretending to be monsters.




Big Plans
By Bob Shea and Lane Smith
Hyperion, 2008

In Big Plans, the refrain varies throughout the book, but it is also chant-like.

"I got big plans, BIG PLANS, I say."

Each variation includes the words BIG PLANS in some form.




Wolfie the Bunny
By Ame Dyckman, illustrated by Zachariah O'Hara
Little Brown, 2015

Varying the refrain makes it even stronger. While the reader anticipates what the refrain will be, changing it just slightly makes the story still surprising. Ame Dyckman doesn't this brilliantly in Wolfie the Bunny.

Dot, the child bunny, is afraid a new adopted wolf baby will eat them and repeats the refrain, "HE'S GOING TO EAT US ALL UP!"

At one point, Dot realizes she's not being heard and says, "HE'S GOING TO…oh, skip it!"

When Wolfie gets captured by a bear, Dot steps in and says,

"Let him go!" Dot demanded. "Or…I'LL EAT YOU ALL UP!"

Here we have a twist on her refrain and we see a character change.

Some commonalities I noticed among these texts:
The refrain is spoken in dialogue.
The refrain reveals character. Because it is a character that's speaking, we learn about the character's personality through their words. And in all three cases mentioned, the characters mirror larger-than-life preschoolers and their emotions.
The refrain interjects humor. I can't help read these refrains without smiling or giggling.
They make excellent read alouds. One of the hallmarks of a good picture book is rereadability. Can it stand up to repeated reads? Young listeners want to read these books and they get into the book, even picking up on the refrain and participating.


Lyrical Refrains

I'm a big fan of lyrical picture books where the words are so beautiful you just want to melt into the page. But sometimes, these books need a little bit of oomph to pull the reader through the story.




Winter is Coming
By Tony Johnston, illustrated by Jim LaMarche
Paula Wiseman/Simon & Schuster, 2014

As nature prepares for winter, it has its own rhythm. In Winter is Coming, Johnston uses the refrain "winter is coming" to help pull the reader to the anticipated event: winter's arrival. The refrain leads to the climax. Once we have reached the anticipated event, the refrain changes to: "Winter is here." 




You Nest Here With Me
By Jane Yolen and Heidi E.Y. Stemple, illustrated by Melissa Sweet
Boyds Mill Press, 2015

You Nest Here With Me is a soothing bedtime story that rhymes. It follows different birds as they nest, but it is bookended with a mother and child. The refrain "You nest here with me" is at the end of each stanza.  It does change slightly at the end to: "You'll nest right here in our house with me." The refrain mirrors the love of parents throughout and it contributes to the peacefulness of this bedtime book.

Nonfiction Refrains

I originally began my refrain study in nonfiction because I noticed several picture book biographies that I really loved had refrains. In three of the four nonfiction books that I looked at, the refrain focused on the person and what made them stand out.




Miss Moore Thought Otherwise
By Jan Pinborough, illustrated by Debby Atwell
Houghton Mifflin, 2013

The refrain in this book calls attention to what makes Annie Moore notable. When she is a child, the refrain says, "Annie thought otherwise." As she grows into adulthood, the refrain changes to, "Miss Moore thought otherwise."




The Tree Lady
By H. Joseph Hopkins, illustrated by Jill McElmurry
Beach Lane, 2013

This picture book biography has a varying refrain.

"But Kate did."
"But not Kate."
"But she did."
"But thanks to Kate, it did."
"Katherine Olivia Sessions did."

All of these variations on the same refrain help pull the thread of the story through to the end. We follow Kate Sessions and her love for trees and how her actions impacted San Diego.

Just as in Miss Moore Thought Otherwise, the refrain points to a determination and "going against the grain" in these ladies' lives.




George Did It
By Suzanne Tripp Jurmain, illustrated by Larry Day
Dutton, 2006

George Did It talks about the difficulties George Washington faced as a leader. The refrain in the story is, "George Did It." Unlike the two previously mentioned picture book biographies, it doesn't have the refrain throughout the book. It is used in the beginning a few times and again the end. But it does share a similar purpose: to show a determined person who made a difference.




One Plastic Bag: Isatou Ceesay and the Recycling Women of the Gambia
By Miranda Paul, illustrated by Elizabeth Zunon
Millbrook Press, 2015

One of my favorite refrains is the one Miranda Paul uses in this book. Her refrain changes each time, but it shows the progression of the story and shows how a village was changed over time.

"One fruit tumbles.
Then two.
Then ten."

Later in the story…

"Holding her breath,
she plucks one plastic bag from the pile.
Then two.
    Then ten.
        Then a hundred."

There are seven different variations on the refrain. They each use numbers, but each time, it shows how the village is changing a little bit at a time.


One thing is for sure, refrains give cadence to a story. If the tone of your story is funny, then the refrain can romp and rollick through the book. If the tone is soft and lyrical, then the refrain can rock you gently as you read.

Here are some more books with refrains that I love. Read these too!

Mr. Duck Means Business by Tammi Sauer, illustrated by Jeff Mack
Bear Snores On by Karma Wilson, illustrated by Jane Chapman
Banjo Granny by Sarah Martin Busse and Jacqueline Briggs Martin, illustrated by Barry Root

Go explore some refrains! As you revise, ask yourself, does my story long for a refrain? Not every story needs one. But it's worth a try to do a revision with a refrain and see what happens.

If you have a favorite book that has a refrain, please leave the title in the comments.

Marcie Flinchum Atkins teaches fourth grade by day and writes in the wee hours of the morning. Her book-nerdiness shows through because she is a certified school librarian and also holds an MA and MFA in children's literature from Hollins University. She blogs about making time to write and how to use books as mentor texts at: www.marcieatkins.com. Her book, "Mentor Texts for Writers, Book 1" is available at: http://www.marcieatkins.com/books/

Petite ReviMo May Day 2 - Doris Stone

 

What Do I Know About Revision?

by Doris Stone

When Meg asked me to write a blog post, my first thought was what do I know about revision?

Hmmmm. I hate it. I love it. It’s a pain. It’s bliss. I avoid it. I avoid it. I avoid it. But then, I sit down and do it.

I hate revision. It means I’ve made mistakes and my brilliant masterpiece, sucks. It means dissecting my story and figuring out what works and what doesn’t. It also means critiques. Yikes…critiques are scary!

I love revision. It means my tale is on paper. Sure, there are flaws but there’s hope too. My tale has a beginning, middle and end. I no longer fear that it’ll be lost in the fickle gray matter inside my head. (Not to say it won’t be lost in the jumble of files on my computer or in the disorganized mess I call, my office.)

Revision is a pain. It means reading my work over and over, one word at a time, aloud. It also means dragging out my dusty thesaurus. But wait, this is where revision is bliss. This is where I leave my story and find a distraction. Sometimes I clean my house, really clean it from top to bottom. Other times I read a good book, or start a new project and sometimes I just take to walking and walking and walking (think Forest Gump). Whatever I do I put some distance between myself and my work in progress.

I forget my revision and let my mind wander. Revision is bliss when I avoid it. I avoid it, avoid it and avoid it.

Then, one day I see a flash in my mind’s eye. It may be a word or a character that I needed for that story. Which story was it? What was it about? Did it have a title? My gray matter can’t recall it or even remember what it was about. I dig through the pile of papers on my desk. Not there! I pull up the file on my computer titled, “Stories needing revision.” There it is!

I sit my keister in the chair and revise. It’s breezy- easy!

I send it off to my critique group. That, as I said earlier, scares the beejeebers out of me. Why? Because I know they will want me to revise it.

Thank you Doris!!

Doris has spent her life surrounded by children. She's been called friend, babysitter, mother, teacher and "Nana". From everyday experiences she crafts stories. Her hope is they will enhance lives of youngsters and help them understand and enjoy the world around them. Doris is the creator of the Fearless February 28 day 28 minute Challenge. http://doriskstone.weebly.com/

Petite ReviMo May Day 1 - Marsha Diane Arnold

REVISING, IN LIFE AND IN STORIES
by Marsha Diane Arnold

I thought my life was perfect. I’ve lived on three acres of paradise in the Northern California hills for thirty-five years. I’d even made peace with dying here, overlooking the little forest filled with oak, madrone, and manzanita, redwoods and rolling hills beyond.

But I’ve had to revise. We’re selling our home on McGregor Lane (yes, the perfect address for a children’s writer) and moving to Florida. In the writing world this might be known as a “full rewrite.”

Revising our stories is not as difficult as revising our lives, but the two have much in common.

Change demands a lot from us. We procrastinate, whether it’s our life or our story. So, I am grateful for Meg Miller’s ReviMo challenge to keep us on track.

There are several types of revision. Here are three:

1. There’s the revision that comes when you know it’s needed. In life, it might be “I need to loose weight.” In your writing world, it might be “I need to get rid of that character.” To loose the weight you need to physically get moving. To loose the character you need to mentally get moving.
2. There’s the revision that your critique partners say is needed. How much we should listen to others partially depends on whether we are a beginning writer or a seasoned author. As we grow, we’ll become more discerning with other’s critiques. Still, it’s always a challenge to know which path to travel in a story. There are so many options.
3. There’s the revision that an editor says is needed. If it’s an editor who’s deciding on whether or not to accept your manuscript, that’s one thing. One editor may want you to change your story, while the next would find it perfect as it is. If you’re satisfied with your story, wait until several editors tell you revision is needed before revising.

If it’s an editor...or illustrator...who’s bought your manuscript, that’s another thing. The illustrator of one of my upcoming books requested I cut a number of lines in an already under 300 word manuscript. These are words I thought would make for great reading aloud. But this illustrator is one of the best in the field and I felt her images could tell the story without my words. So I revised, a.k.a. cut, them out.

Besides the usual things writers do - writing, blogging, developing e-courses, and visiting schools - I do manuscript consultations.

Often I find the beginnings of stories need revision. Some beginnings meander the reader into the story rather than dropping him in. Dropping a young reader into a story is almost always more exciting than meandering him in.

Often the endings need revision. Rather than a neat, to the point ending, some writers prefer to go on and on, hanging onto their story like a toddler afraid to let go of a parent.

Often the middle needs revision. Oh, let’s face it! Usually everything needs revision after our horrible, sad, first draft. I often advise writers to look again at the progression of events. Sometimes cutting events or switching them around will make the story smoother. Logical progression can be forgotten in the early drafts. Another thing that always helps is tightening. If there were a rewriting mantra, it might be, “Tighten, tighten, tighten.” (It sounds more humane than, “Cut, cut, cut,” doesn’t it?)

Once you have the basics of writing and storytelling under your belt, always listen to yourself more than your critiquers (those outside or inside your head). And always listen the most to your story because it’s your story that should be in charge.

Whether rewriting the story of your life or the story on the page, listen to the heart of it and take one step at a time. The heart of your life. The heart of your story. It won’t lead you astray.

Would you like to see a master revising? I was lucky enough to attend the brilliant and prolific Jane Yolen’s Master Class last October. Julie Hedlund was also in attendance; she recently posted a blog and short video of the experience. In the first part of the video, Jane is revising lines she’d quickly spewed out of her head. It’s fun and eye-opening to watch a master at work. http://www.juliehedlund.com/jane-yolen-may-2014-featured-author/


Thank you Marsha!!

The media has called Marsha Diane Arnold a "born storyteller" and a "magician of literary innovations." Her literary pathway began with the much-loved, award-winning newspaper column "homegrown treasures." Soon Marsha was writing for kids' magazines and in 1995 came her first book, Heart of a Tiger, for which she won the Ridgway Award for Best First Book by a New Author.

Other awards include Smithsonian Notable Book for The Pumpkin Runner, Junior Library Guild Selection, IRA Distinguished Book, and state Children's Choice awards for Heart of a Tiger, Kansas State Library's 150 "Best" Books for The Bravest of Us All, Notable Social Studies Book for The Chicken Salad Club, and a Family Choice Award for Hugs on the Wind. Roar of a Snore was twice selected for Dolly Parton's Imagination Library and her early reader Quick, Quack, Quick has sold over half a million copies. Her stories have been called "wacky," "whimsical," "inspiring," "beguiling," "heartwarming," "uplifting," "great read-alouds," and "a must-have for all libraries".