Revising the First Page or Chapter

By Margo L. Dill (AKA Editor 911)

Post after post has been written on opening lines; award-winning children’s author Richard Peck does an entire workshop on them. Agents and editors preach at writing conferences and on their blogs that it’s important to catch the reader from the first word, and they reveal they often don’t give a manuscript more than a few lines before they make a decision on it. Readers are known to use the “Look Inside” feature on Amazon to read the first few pages and decide whether or not to buy the book.

So, this means that yes, the first few sentences of your picture book or the first chapter of your novel really are that important.

I have just as much trouble with chapter one, the opening scene, or that first line as anybody. In my first published novel, Finding My Place: One Girl’s Strength at Vicksburg (middle-grade), I completely rewrote the opening chapter before submitting it to publishers for the third time. I revised the first chapter from my main character, Anna, receiving a baking lesson from her ma while soldiers walked by on the street to Anna, her siblings, and Ma running for the cave in the back of their yard while Yankee shells flew over them. After the change, I received a book contract.

My next novel coming out on March 18, a YA titled Caught Between Two Curses, went through so many first chapter revisions I lost count—mostly because my critique group and a slush pile read at a conference let me know that something just wasn’t right. Finally, I got the right combination of characterization, action, and plot, and I received a publishing contract from Rocking Horse Publishing.

The first words are important!

So how do you revise the same first words time and again and also know when you have it ready to go? Try these few tips:

• Ask beta readers or critique group members to read your first part and offer suggestions. What works for them? What doesn’t? Is there any place where they would have stopped reading if they didn’t know you personally? Are they confused or notice any awkward parts?
• Take the feedback and start a new file. Leave the chapter or beginning they read alone with the rest of your manuscript. Work on the first lines by themselves in a separate file, incorporating their suggestions and your gut feelings.
• If time permits, do this twice, starting the story two different ways in two different files. Then ask readers to read again and answer those same questions above. Hopefully this time, they won’t have much feedback except, “Great job!”

Why the separate document files? 
 

This is just a mind game. If you write different versions in separate files, you don’t feel like you’re replacing everything you’ve already done, and you’re just trying something new. If you, your critique group, or beta readers like either of the new beginnings, then you just cut out the old and put in the new.

The crucial thing to remember is that the first lines are worth spending extra time on—it’s the window to the rest of your book. If readers aren’t willing to open that window farther, you’ve lost them, and that’s not something any writer wants to do.

Thank you Margo!

Margo L. Dill is a children’s author, speaker, freelance editor, and writing instructor living in St. Louis, MO. She owns her own editing business, Editor 911, where she works with writers to revise, edit, and proofread their manuscripts. She is the author of Finding My Place: One Girl’s Strength at Vicksburg (Oct. 2012, ages 9 to 12) and the soon-to-be released Caught Between Two Curses (March 2014, ages 14 and up). She teaches online novel writing courses through WOW! Women on Writing (http://www.wow-womenonwriting.com/WOWclasses.html) .To find out more about Margo or to contact her, please go to http://margodill.com/blog/.

Caught Between Two Curses by Margo Dill will be out from Rocking Horse Publishing on March 18. This is a young adult novel that tells the story of 17-year-old Julie Nigelson who is caught between two curses--one put on her family years ago by a scorned lover and the other, the Curse of the Billy Goat on the Chicago Cubs. While Julie tries to figure out her own love life, she's racing against time to save her family from the curse once again. 

Stacy Jensen Guest Post - Petite ReviMo March, Day 1

Say YES and Write
By Stacy S. Jensen

Recently, I've seen several writers question if it's worth writing a story, when there may be a similar title already published or in the process of being published.

I always vote for write first and think later. Why? Well, publishing is a subjective business. Plus, we get told NO by agents, editors, and our fellow writers enough. We should at least tell ourselves yes and write.

My reality right now —come in close— everything I write may never get published. I don't have an agent. I don't have a manuscript under contract. I write, revise, repeat, and squeeze submit into that process.

By the time, my toddler graduates from high school, I may have a glorified baby book in the form of picture books detailing the antics of bears training to be park rangers and a boy who locks his mother out of the house.

I write a lot of vomit drafts. I work to turn drafts into polished manuscripts with the hopes of publication one day.

A lot of this process is out of my control. So, I focus on what I can control, my story — how I birth it, nurture it, and change it. I can't control a hot-new trend of zombie tooth fairy books, an agent's unspoken wish (or hate) list, or the five books already in the publishing pipeline with a similar storyline.

I wrote about my no rules writing method in 2012. I still do this.

While I'm guilty of mentioning rules, from time to time during critiques, I cling to advice that just tells me to write. Here are a few examples:

•I whip out Romelle Broas' interview with debut author Sherri Dusky Rinker, author of Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site when I need a reminder. Ringer sent a rhyming, bedtime picture book, unagented, and unsolicited to a major publishing house. She became a New York Times bestseller.

•Rob Sanders, author of Cowboy Christmas, wrote about his first book — a cowboy book with three adult main characters and set at Christmas.

•Deborah Underwood, author of The Quiet Book during ReviMo: "If I'd been trying to write only what I thought would be publishable, I might never have developed those ideas." She also offers a great tip at Julie Hedlund's blog: "Write to please yourself, not the market."

•In Darshana's interview with Salina Yoon, author and illustrator of Penguin and Pinecone, Yoon gave this advice to beginning authors and illustrators: "Make it your goal to CREATE, write, and grow, . . . and not to publish. Keep your eye on the ball … and that ball is to write or illustrate, … and publishing will follow!"

I believe there's no reason to kill a story based on this subjective business of market trends, agent preferences, and rules. Maybe there are no new stories, but it's fun trying to write one.

Let others tell you no, but say yes to yourself and write.


Thank you Stacy! 

 

 

Stacy S. Jensen is as writer and is accustomed to being told no, especially after becoming a mom. She's trying to control the things she can and say YES to story ideas she loves. Connect with her at www.stacysjensen.com.

Petite ReviMo Day 2 - Choose Your Own Adventure!

Welcome to Petite ReviMo, Day 2!

May your revisions be insightful and plentiful! For more ReviMo info, click here.

 Okay, so today I have something different in store for you! 

Many of you have already seen the revision inspiration sheet. If not, here is a gift for you! Today, pick one of these methods and run with it. My preferred method: Cover your eyes, wave arm at screen and then stop! Yahtzee! Wasn't that fun? :D Or you could use random number generator or pick a favorite number. If not a random pick, how about choosing a method that stretches your comfort zone? Who knows, it "could lead you in surprising and inspiring directions!" to quote Nancy Furstinger (ReviMo Petite Day 1).
Comment here or on the Facebook group and let us know what method is your revision fuel today!

Petite ReviMo February, Day 1 - Nancy Furstinger

Welcome to Petite ReviMo, February 15th & 16th!

May your weekend be revisionful! For more ReviMo info, click here.

Today we have with us, Nancy Furstinger! Welcome Nancy!

“I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.” –Oscar Wilde

While I’m not as focused on writing the perfect sentence as Oscar Wilde was, I do sometimes have to turn off the critical part of my brain. That snarky part will snarl at me, and insist that every sentence must be perfect or no one will read a single word I write. So I chuck my background as an editor and write what Anne Lamott calls a “Shitty First Draft” in her encouraging book “Bird by Bird.” Then I put away that first draft, but let it percolate in my brain. It’s easier to rewrite and revise when you’ve distanced yourself from your words.

Sometimes you don’t think you can pump out one more word of revision, but then your publisher suggests a brilliant new angle. Suddenly you’re re-invigorated! This happened to me twice, and the resulting books were stronger.

“Creative Crafts for Critters” started out as fun crafts that kids could create for their cats and dogs. My publisher asked me to add birds, fish, and pocket pets to the mix. So I created crafts for the furred, finned, and feathered. These revisions helped me to rack up some great reviews!

My new picture book, “The Forgotten Rabbit,” is loosely based on my huge New Zealand white bunny, Marshmallow, who lived the first three years of her life in a tiny outdoor hutch before transforming into a house rabbit. My publisher suggested incorporating a story line about rabbit agility (a sport similar to dog agility) to appeal to the picture book crowd. Fab idea! I had the young protagonist build a homemade agility course and then later compete with her rabbit at an agility event. I punched up the manuscript with oodles of active verbs. And I was fortunate to be able to work with the illustrator, offering her suggestions about how to depict both types of agility courses and send her photos of Marshmallow racing around and “binkying.” I think kids will really enjoy the exciting action!

Instead of approaching revisions with trepidation, embrace them. They could lead you in surprising and inspiring directions!

Thank you Nancy!

Nancy's been a writer since the third-grade, when her class put on a play she wrote. She thought it was amazing to hear people reading her words, and immediately decided to become a writer.
After college, Nancy started out as a newspaper reporter, interviewing intriguing people and writing about every topic imaginable. Nancy caught the book bug when she worked as a managing editor for two children’s publishing companies. Now I've finally found her niche, working as a freelance writer—the most rewarding job ever! Check out Nancy's books here: http://www.nancyfurstinger.com/books.html.

ReviMo 2014 Grand Prize Rafflecopter

WOW! What a wonderful week! I'm so proud of all of you, 1 day of revisions or 7, you did great. Revising stories so short and succinct is tough, but if you're like me, you love this crazy picture book writing journey. Many thanks for joining me!

There is talk of a monthly ReviMo day or a quarterly ReviMo for 4 days or a week, so check back if you are interested!


******AND NOW!!!!!******  
To enter GRAND PRIZE giveaway, for those who have revised 5+ Picture Book MS:

1. Scroll down to the Rafflecopter Rafflecopter widget at the bottom of this post.
2. Under the prize listings, CLICK on the “Revised 5 or 6 Picture Book MS” button OR the "“Revised 7 Picture Book MS” button .
3.  Click ENTER and you're entered! Remember you are on the honor system!

You can enter the Grand Prize today or tomorrow, only 1 time. Rafflecopter Prizes will be drawn January 20th.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

ReviMo Day 7 - Simone Kaplan Talks Revisions

Day 7, last day!! Today we have Simone Kaplan visiting. Welcome Simone!

DO NOT REVISE!

Really. That might be a strange thing to say during ReViMo– but I bet it stopped you in your tracks. At least I hope it did.

Because what I wanted it to do is get you to stop.

To not write, not rewrite, not self-edit, not revise, not re-vision.

I really, really want you to stop.

There’s place for the gotta meet the deadline, gotta get the manuscript finished in time for (fill in the blank), gotta meet my goal of x number of manuscripts finished/conceptualized/drafted; but that approach can lead to you feeling pressured, stuck, closed in. It can mean that when you look at the work, you don’t see it; you simply react to it. And that’s not the most effective way to revise.

I really, really want you to give yourself some space.

I’m going to suggest that when you’ve reached a point where you feel that you manuscript is complete, you stop. And you don’t look at it for a month. At least. Some of the authors I work with tell me it’s almost unbearable not to look at their work. I tell them to stick with it. And I’ll say the same to you. Find ways to distract yourself or keep yourself busy. Work on other manuscripts; jot down notes, thoughts, insights that occur to you about the manuscript in question in a notebook. But don’t take the manuscript out of the file drawer, don’t open the document, don’t succumb to those knee-jerk, reactive impulses. Because those same authors tell me that after the month is up, when they do come back to their manuscripts, they have a whole new perspective.

And that’s what you want to do: jolt yourself out of your familiar point of view and give yourself another perspective.

You know how you see your home just a little differently after you’ve been away on vacation? Or you notice things about a good friend when you haven’t seen them for a while?

The same thing happens with manuscripts. By not looking at your work, you’re consciously and deliberately creating the space that you need in order to alter your perspective. Distance gives you the opportunity to approach your work like a reader rather than a writer.

When you come back to the work, you’ll see the tired images, the stale adjectives, and the sentences that need tightening. You’ll notice little holes in the plot and instantly see where a scene or spread isn’t working. If you’re lucky, you’ll also see how to fix them.

And that’s when you can settle back into your writer mode, take a deep breath, and start to revise.

Thank you so much Simone! That was the perfect wrap up to a perfect ReviMo week!

 

Simone Kaplan is an editor, consultant, and coach who provides creativity-enhancing, skill-building, heart-expanding support for creators of picture books. Visit www.picturebookpeople.com to find out more and to sign up for her newsletter in which she shares more tools, tips, and techniques such as this one.

 Simone has graciously agreed donate: *A one hour PB critique to one lucky winner!


***PLEASE READ CAREFULLY!!!!! Today's Rafflecopter is different!!!!!!! Click HERE for a How To Pictorial, if you need to.***

The daily rafflecopter was being weird, so this is a new one. Today's votes are CUMULATIVE, so read carefully. To enter giveaway:
1. Revise that picture book draft. Comment on this post.

THEN:
*Scroll down to the Rafflecopter widget at the bottom of this post.
*IF YOU REVISED 5 or fewer days do this:
 Under the prize listings, CLICK on the number of days you revised. For example if you revised 3 days, Click the "I Revised 3 Days" button. Then click ENTER and you are done!
*IF YOU REVISED 6 days do this:
Under the prize listings, CLICK on "I Revised 5 Days" Then click ENTER. Then Click "Additional Day" button, then click ENTER and you are done! 
*IF YOU REVISED 7 days do this:
Under the prize listings, CLICK on "I Revised 5 Days" Then click ENTER. Then Click "2 Additional Days" button, then click ENTER and you are done!
  
PLEASE NOTE: It says there are 18 entries available to you for this giveaway, but there are only 7! Thank you. :)

Today is the last day to enter. The winners will be chosen via Rafflecopter January 20th. Enter Rafflecopter below, then for those of you who have revised 5+ manuscripts, the Grand Prize Rafflecopter will go up later this afternoon and will be up today and tomorrow.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

ReviMo Day 6 - Lindsay Barrett George

Today we have Lindsay Barrett George with us. Welcome Lindsay!

What makes a publishable manuscript?

This one’s easy. The story that you can’t get out of your head. The character that you fall in love with every time you re-read the story. Every time. And the fact that you want to re-read the story – and to re read the lines – the words – again and again. The one – the story - that makes you want to carry the book …close.

How do you determine if a story idea is worth pursuing/revising?

TIME.

Time is always my best friend in helping me decide if an idea is worth pursuing. If you (one) can write the idea down –the premise – and put it somewhere special – file the idea away. Put it w a y away… For a month – or 2. Or 6 months. And then look at it again – with new eyes… That’s a sure fire test. This works well with a ms… Because you can never ever read a ms. every day with fresh eyes and ears. Which is what one needs to see and hear the story clearly.

Putting the ms. away for such a long time is tough. But this exercise will serve you well… it always has for me.

Revisions are excruciating and, at the same time - so very pleasurable. Easy to know when a story is not working … (we all know when it isn’t)… but problem solving is a lot of what children’s book writing is about… and being ‘in it’ is gooey-good – at least for me. But please remember that I deal with texts that have sometimes 50 - 70 words? And since every single word must be the exact right word – revising a text may mean living with and re-thinking, re-sleeping with, obsessing about ONE SINGLE WORD. Completely captivating. Completely engaging. Nuts but I truly love doing this. Reworking until it works.

Ideas!

I’d love briefly to talk about where ideas really come from – for me. They come to me – or more accurately – I snatch them out of thin air…

I hear THINGS –
on the radio
on TV (I sometimes watch, much to my annoyance)
I overhear people
I look at ads in newspapers
and often I’ll be in a conversation and someone will say something
and that something –
that Great Idea –
will hang there in the air –
often in a green neon typeface…
and then I’ll know that the idea is worth writing down
or I’ll surely forget it.

But never do I ‘come up’ with an idea for a story…they come to me. And you CANNOT lose faith in the fact that this process - this happening – will happen again. It does in it’s own good time. Can’t control the flow. I value ‘down’ time – Driving my car with the radio turned off. That’s a great time for idea gathering. Or walking the dogs…or duck.

Any other thoughts for fellow picture book writers?

haha… who am I to say… but maybe to…
Keep the faith.
Great Ideas come when you least expect them.
Be totally original.
Write the story that no one else can write.
(I didn’t come up with that – but it’s a great piece of advice).

I think there are 4 elements that we all share:

1. We’re all talented. Yup – we are.
2. You have to be lucky.
3. You need to be relentless.
4. And hope that timing is on your side.


Thank you so much Lindsay!

 
Lindsay Barrett George is a children’s book author/illustrator , widely recognized for her striking illustrations of wildlife. Her books have been picked as Outstanding Science Books for Children, American Bookseller Pick of the Lists, and have received Children’s Literature Choice Awards. She received the 2013 PSLA Outstanding Author/Illustrator of the Year Award.

Lindsay has doodled the animals outside her home in New Jersey, New York, Massachusetts and Wisconsin, but is presently doodling the critters outside her 1898 red-brick schoolhouse. She lives with her husband, two cats, a diva mini Dachshund named Maggie, and a very handsome duck in northeastern Pa.

Lindsay loves to read books, she loves making books, she loves teaching how to make a book, and her dog, Maggie, loves to chew on books.

Books rule!

To enter giveaway:

1. Scroll down to the Rafflecopter widget at the end of this post.
2. Under the prize listings, CLICK on the “Revised PB MS Today Commented on Today's Post” button.
3. If you have revised a Picture Book manuscript and commented on today's post, click ENTER and you're entered! Remember you are on the honor system!

Only one more day, hang in there everyone!! You can do this!

Each day you revise and comment (Jan. 12-18th) you can enter for chances to win. The winners will be chosen via Rafflecopter January 19th. There will be a final giveaway January 19th for those of you who revise 5+ days! Good luck everyone!

ReviMo Day 5 - Jim Averbeck, ReviMo: A Selfie Photo-Essay

Today we have Jim Averbeck with us. Welcome Jim!


Can you give us a little background about yourself?

I wrote this




















and illustrated this serialized novel by Linda Sue Park

and wrote and illustrated this

and this

and this.

My next book out is this novel

which I am very excited about. It's about Jack, an 11 year-old orphan living with his aunt at the Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco in 1956. When she is kidnapped, he joins forces with another hotel guest, Alfred Hitchcock, who is staying there while checking out locations for his cinema masterpiece, Vertigo. Together, using the principles of the silver screen, they solve the mystery of the missing aunt. We just got the endorsement of the Hitchcock family and my publisher is making this a focus title for the list it is on. It comes out June 24, 2014. (And is available now for pre-order!) Did you notice the blurb?

Where, when, and why do you write picture books?

The answer to when and where is "everywhere and all the time." If you are a writer you are constantly observing the world around you. You listen in on conversations that you have no business hearing. You breathe in the smells and drink in the tastes of wherever you are. You take note of how the chair you are sitting in feels. When you are being very intentional about it, you write down in a little notebook, or on your phone, or a napkin or the back of your hand the details of the experience, puzzling out how you would describe it to someone who wasn't there, or making up a story to fit your observations.

Even if you are not being highly intentional, your writer's brain is storing away little snippets, which no doubt surface later on. And if you are an illustrator you look at the world around you and compose visuals, noting what emotions they stir in you and why.

The answer to why I create picture books is simply that I have to. A picture book is like a little puzzle that I am compelled to solve. How will I build a character, have a plot, and come to a fun resolution all in 500 words or less? There are a lot of nice side benefits- children's literacy, bringing kids and caretakers together around reading, the creation of something that will outlast me. But ultimately I’m just obsessed.

How do you determine if a story idea is worth pursuing/revising?

If we are talking just about picture books, I pursue a story for as long as it delights me to do so. If it starts to feels tedious or unenjoyable to create, then I doubt it will be fun to read. Sometimes the story is becoming too complicated, so it might need to be bumped out of the picture book format and into something longer. Sometimes a story is too slight - more of a greeting card. Then it either needs to be left alone until more story comes along, or used as a detail in another work. Novels, by the way, are quite different. There are many tedious parts of novel writing that you just have to slog through and make invisible to the reader. That's easier to do in a novel. A picture book has so few words and is so tight and concise, that there is nowhere to hide the displeasure you may feel while writing it. So don't even try.

What is your revision process?

People write in different ways. Some people overwrite. So, they may write a 2000 word picture book and have to winnow it down to 500 words.I am the opposite. I underwrite. A typical first draft of a picture book for me might be 200 words. Since I illustrate too, I usually know what the visuals will be, which saves a lot of words. Even so, my stories usually have deeper levels in my head than I have put down on paper. Now comes the most important step in revision for me. I meet with my critique group, the Revisionaries, twice a month. We read the story out loud (usually accompanied by a very sketchy dummy.) Then they look at me in confusion, because I have been so incompetent at recording the story I meant to. We discuss it calmly

and I make clear what my intentions were. They point out which intentions they don't see in the story, and ways I might surface them. Then I rewrite, focusing on bringing up the layers I left out. The story goes through several iterations like this. I try to nail down the emotional or conceptual story first, then I work on character, then language. When my critique group starts talking about punctuation, I know it is time to submit.

What's your least favorite part of revisions? Favorite?

I dislike revising illustrations. It's a time consuming process and after I've got all the story problems solved it doesn't feel as exciting to me. This is particularly true before the book has sold, since at that point I don't even know if my illustration work will be used.

My favorite part of revising is experiencing the "aha" moments when a piece of the story puzzle snaps into place.

There is usually a lot of work that happened to lead to that moment, but it never feels like anything less than magic.

What makes a publishable manuscript?

There are four essential ingredients to a publishable manuscript: paper, ink, sweat, and coffee.

As you continue on your writing journey, do you find your stories are better or are your first drafts crappy like mine? :D

That's an interesting question. Honestly I find these days that if I take more than two hours to write a first draft with a great beginning, strong middle and a fulfilling ending, then it will probably end up being abandoned. Of course, that two hours of sit-down writing is preceded by days of percolating ideas and recording little snippets of text, and is followed by weeks of revision. But it took me years of writing, and crappy first drafts, to get to this point.

Any other thoughts for fellow writers?

Get writing or I am going to kick your ass.

What's your favorite picture book?

I really don't have a single favorite. But without going to my bookshelf, I can tell you these are some recent books that stick in my mind: Henry in Love, Nino Wrestles the World, I Want My Hat Back, Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs.

Of the classics, you really can’t beat Where the Wild Things Are.

If you could write anywhere in the world, where would that be?

I illustrated the original serialized version of Linda Sue Park's "A Long Walk to Water" while in Bali. The assignment came in just before I left for this long-planned vacation, so while my family and friends toured the island, I sat at the pool of our hotel, overlooking the rice paddies, and drew. A cool breeze blowing. Dozens of colorful kites flying overhead. It was perfection. I've often thought of going back. The hotel was $70 a week and I could probably rent my San Francisco house and go write in paradise and still come out ahead, financially. I just need to convince my partner of the feasibility of this plan. Below is a photo I took then. Here’s hoping I can do a selfie there again someday.

Thank you so much Jim!

Jim Averbeck is the author of the Charlotte Zolotow Honor Book, In a Blue Room (Harcourt, 2008) and the author and illustrator of except if (Atheneum, 2011) Oh No, Little Dragon (Atheneum, 2012) and The Market Bowl (Charlesbridge, 2012.) He studied writing and illustrating for children at UC Berkeley. He was the Regional Advisor for the San Francisco chapter of The Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators.

Jim can be found online at jimaverbeck.com and followed @jimaverbeck.

To enter giveaway:

1. Scroll down to the Rafflecopter widget at the end of this post.
2. Under the prize listings, click on the “Revised PB MS Today & Commented on Today's Post” button.
3. If you have revised a PB manuscript and commented on today's post, click ENTER and you're entered! Remember you are on the honor system!

Each day you revise and comment (Jan. 12-18th) you can enter for chances to win. The winners will be chosen via Rafflecopter January 19th. There will be a final giveaway January 19th for those of you who revise 5+ days! Good luck everyone!

ReviMo Day 4 - Shirley Smith Duke

Revising a Nonfiction Picture Book

by Shirley Smith Duke

Books ordered? Check.

Articles from Internet? Check.

Reading done for all sources? Check.

Background of reading multiple nonfiction picture books? Check.

Now it was time to start writing.

I looked at my subject from a distance. There were fascinating pieces of information and some unsavory actions later in life. I loved so many of them. But I wanted to write a nonfiction picture book for children. Well, I could discuss my subject, warts and all, I decided. I knew the event I wanted to focus on.

Now, most picture books are short—less than 500 words. Nonfiction can be a bit longer, so I thought I’d check. I typed Tanya Lee Stone’s nf pb biography, Who Says Women Can’t Be Doctors?, into a document. It ran about 800 or so words. Now I had my target goal.

Then I didn’t know where to go. I worked on an interesting introduction, realizing after that I needed a story arc. A plan! Nonfiction can make use of a story arc, so I wrote mine. I filled in notes to support the plan, filling four handwritten pages with tiny scribbles.

Now I was ready to write. I found it hard. Finally, I set a goal and got busy. I filled in the story of my subject’s life, from birth to death. I was forced to leave out fascinating facts, but I kept telling myself it’s a picture book. One can’t include everything.

Wrapping up the final sentence with a flourish, I was happy. And not happy. The picture book ran 3,000 words and told the entire life story. Well, it was interesting, so I bundled it off to my critique group. A number of revisions later, I had a 2,500 streamlined version. I hastily sent it along to a paid critique through my SCBWI retreat and waited.

I wasn’t happy with the story, and I thought about what I needed to do.

Guess what? The editor made the usual, standard comments. I wasn’t surprised. I knew what she’d say already. I knew what was wrong with the story.

I needed to focus on the one event. The extra material was the encyclopedia version. I needed to write the birth to death, but that version was for me. With so many incidents and a complex character, the overwhelming information was confusing. Cynthia Leitich Smith said she tears up her first draft before writing the second. I tore mine up mentally.

Now I’m ready to do the second revision. Really revise. Revision isn’t rearranging words. It’s an overhaul. I plan to narrow my focus and return to the single event and why my character was able to carry out the contribution.

I’ll probably still have a really long author’s note!

Thank you Shirley. So pleased to have a peak at your nonfiction revision process!

 
Shirley Smith Duke writes for children of many ages and focuses mostly on nonfiction. She's a former science teacher and by next month will have written 39 books. She's branched out with her latest book, Teaching STEM and Common Core, co-written with Anastasia Suen. She also wrote a STEM column for LibrarySparks this school year with her co-author. She's also written science poetry recently for Janet Wong's and Sylvia Vardell's forthcoming book, The Poetry Friday Anthology for Science. The picture book biography she wrote about in the blog is her New Year's resolution--send it out after lots more revision this year. She lives with her husband half the year in the Jemez Mountains and half the time in the Dallas area.
Teaching STEM and Common Core, ABC-Clio, 2014 
Seasons of the Biomes, (series of 8 books), Rourke,2014
"Grow with STEM", LibrarySparks, 2013-2014


To enter giveaway:

1. Scroll down to the Rafflecopter widget at the end of this post.
2. Under the prize listings, click on the “Revised PB MS Today & Commented on Today's Post” button.
3. If you have revised a PB manuscript and commented on today's post, click ENTER and you're entered! Remember you are on the honor system!

Each day you revise and comment (Jan. 12-18th) you can enter for chances to win. The winners will be chosen via Rafflecopter January 19th. There will be a final giveaway January 19th for those of you who revise 5+ days! Good luck everyone!

ReviMo Day 3 - Interview with Ame Dyckman

Today we have Ame Dyckman with us. Tickled pink to have you with us, Ame!

Can you give us a little background about yourself?

I admit it: I ate paste in school. But I'd pretty much stopped by junior high. By the time I was in high school, I was telling people I wanted to write books for kids when I grew up. (Not sure if this had anything to do with the earlier paste thing.) Most folks told me my dream of becoming a published children's book author was never gonna happen. But Boyfriend Guy said, "You can do it!" I liked that. So I married him. After a bunch of alternative occupations (Costumed Character, Brownie Taste Tester, etc.), I joined my local SCBWI chapter, where I learned how to write for kids, met my Super Agent and rock star editors, and made a bunch of awesome friends. I got a fabulous Writing Buddy, too. And now all these amazing folks (and The Kid) come to my book signings and cheer me on. I am SO lucky. They're my paste.

How do you determine if a story idea is worth pursuing/revising?

There's a complex scientific algorithm that goes like... "HELP! I CAN'T GET THIS STORY IDEA OUT OF MY HEAD!" And then it's worth pursuing. Because often, I can't write anything else until I see that idea through its opening lines, sometimes to a full draft. Gotta be done, even if whatever gets done then gets tossed right into the Bad Manuscripts Drawer. (Or in the REALLY Bad Manuscripts Grave in the backyard.) But once the initial Make It Real exercise is over, if the idea’s still waving its hand in the air and squealing, “Ooh, me! Me! Choose ME!” there's a whole slog of homework (title/similar story check, marketability stuff, family/Writing Buddy thumbs-up, etc.) before it makes it to the Revisions stage. And then I place a standing order with our local Pizza Joint so we have something to eat for a week or two and get to it.

What is your revision process?

Besides the pizza? I’m a print-it person. I print out the latest version of my manuscript and keep it in my pocket, so no matter where I am (bank, grocery store, roller coaster, etc.), I can take it out and scribble on it and put it back in my pocket and repeat the process and even sometimes remember to take it out of my pocket before I do the laundry. (Sometimes.) And for a few weeks, I make my family and Writing Buddy play endless rounds of “Of these two sentences where I only changed one phrase/word/comma, which sentence is better?” Inevitably, there will be a 3 AM tantrum because “My new story ISN’T ANY GOOD!” Then I make baked goods for my neighbors to apologize for throwing a tantrum at 3 AM, and take a nap. And finally, I see that my new story is better than I thought, and I send it to Super Agent.

Any other thoughts for fellow writers?

Check your pockets before you do the laundry. Stock up on muffin mix for your neighbors. (I mean, stock up on recipes and flour. ‘Cause we bake from scratch. *wink wink*) Read mountains of books. And never, EVER give up! How will I get to buy your books if you do?

Thank you so much Ame!

  

Ame Dyckman reads and writes picture books when she should be sleeping. She’s the
author of:

· BOY + BOT, ill. by Dan Yaccarino (Random House’s Alfred A. Knopf, 2012).

· TEA PARTY RULES, ill. by K. G. Campbell (Penguin’s Viking, October 3, 2013).

· WOLFIE THE BUNNY, ill. by Zachariah OHora (Little, Brown; Spring, 2015).

· HORRIBLE BEAR, ill. by Zachariah OHora (Little, Brown; Spring, 2016).

You can follow Ame on Twitter (@AmeDyckman), where she Tweets picture book reviews and pretty much everything that pops into her head.

Ame Dyckman's book trailers:
BOY + BOT:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBi820NFhag&list=PL216E04BEAE0F39BC&index=38

TEA PARTY RULES:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeJnaFkRn1o 

Ame generously donated: 
*A signed copy of TEA PARTY RULES
*TEA PARTY RULES prize pack: bookmark, sticker, button, and squeeze cookie.








To enter giveaway:

1. Scroll down to the Rafflecopter widget at the end of this post.
2. Under the prize listings, click on the “Revised PB MS Today & Commented on Today's Post” button. If you have revised a PB manuscript and commented on today's post, click ENTER and you're entered! Remember you are on the honor system! 

Each day you revise and comment (Jan. 12-18th) you can enter for chances to win. The winners will be chosen via Rafflecopter January 19th. There will be a final giveaway January 19th for those of you who revise 5+ days! Good luck everyone!