Welcome, everyone! May your revisions be amazingly good and plentiful during ReviMo 2015. Join us in Facebook group, if you'd like. Hopefully we'll get some revision sprints/stampedes going in there...
And now on to our first guest for 2015 - Renee LaTulippe. Take it away, Renee!
Revision Tip: Enrich Your Text with Poetic Techniques
by Renée M. LaTulippe
As an editor and teacher, there is nothing that lights my creative fire more than analyzing a text at the nitty-gritty language level and discovering where I can punch that baby up.
If your text feels listless or is suffering from a general malaise, it probably needs a shot of poetry to get it on its feet again. Throughout my Lyrical Language Lab course, I share many examples of how poetic techniques are used in lyrical prose in picture books, MG, and YA fiction.
What is lyrical prose?
Lyrical prose…
- is rich, layered, and descriptive, but not overwrought or sentimental
- conveys images with fresh but natural language
- is poetic, rhythmic, and musical
- the author’s craft
- when and how the poetic techniques of imagery, simile, metaphor, and other figurative and sensory language are used and how they support the story
- when and how poetic sound devices are used
- the use of specific diction and how it supports the story
- the rhythms, cadences, and pauses within the passage
Click the image to enlarge and zoom for reading.
- So what’s going on here? Lots of poetic technique! Let’s take a look:
- RED = Figurative language and imagery. Every simile, metaphor, and image is true to the MC’s voice. We know she is a country girl, and this is held up by the use of such phrases as “a caboodle of houses roosting” and “like a filly trailing behind a mare.
- FUCHSIA = Diction. The author’s choice of specific words and expressions also supports the setting and tone, and helps define the MC and other characters. On page 4, Gramps uses the phrase “a hill of beans,” a phrase that in regular writing would be avoided because it’s a cliché. But it’s perfect as dialogue for Gramps, because it’s authentic to what a real grandfather — or any of us, really — would say in everyday speech.
- PURPLE = Repetition. Creech uses a lot of repetition and parallel structure (as in the list of reasons on page 5) to add emphasis and create a certain rhythm and musicality. This technique also gives us more insight into the character and what is important to her, and sets up the “style” of this character’s voice. From the first few pages, we know what to expect in terms of how this character expresses herself. Repetition also adds to the humor.
- GREEN = Sound devices. Creech uses some alliteration and assonance throughout, but here she goes for onomatopoeia to give voice to the wind and the darkness. She could have easily written this sentence plainly, without the use of poetic technique. Why might she have chosen to write it this way?
- BLUE = Hyperbole (exaggeration), which is a form of figurative language. Along with repetition, hyperbole can heighten the humor and give insight into how the MC feels. It is also an authentic choice for the MC, since children are given to exaggeration and drama.
- Although Creech uses many poetic techniques in her writing, it is not overdone, nor does it call attention to itself. She has found the perfect balance between lyrical language and story, and one does not detract from the other.
- It would be very easy to point out the beauty of every line in this passage, for there are many more riches to mine here than what I’ve listed. I again encourage you to read it out loud to hear the rhythm and feel the flow of the words. There is not one stumbling block or clumsy phrase, or at least none that I found.
Your Revision Mission: Read your manuscript (or a portion of it) out loud. Look for places where you can use poetic techniques to punch up your text and make it more vibrant, concise, and musical. Consider all poetic techniques: imagery, figurative language, metaphor, sound devices, specific diction, and so on. I guarantee that adding a bit of poetry to your text will help you whip that sucker into shape and make it SING.
*****
Would you like some more sneak peeks into The Lyrical Language Lab lessons? Check out Renée’s contributor posts at Michelle Barnes’ blog, Today’s Little Ditty:
Thank you Renee!
One lucky winner will get to take Renee's Lyrical Language Lab Course for free, so be sure to revise all seven days if you'd like a shot at it! And check out the fabulous prizes here, if you haven't seen them already. Happy revising!
Facebook: NoWaterRiver
Twitter: @ReneeMLaTulippe
Copyright (c) 2015 Renée M. LaTulippe. This article is partially excerpted from lessons in the online course The Lyrical Language Lab: Punching Up Prose with Poetry. All rights reserved.
113 comments :
Love the music in the language! To give the character their own lyrical flavor, is to make them more "them!"
wow colour coding the editing process is a fabulous tool. Thank you Renee for this excellent tip.
Thank you, Renee for the colorful tips. You've inspired me to analyzing and punching up the first story in my stack of manuscripts awaiting revision. Heigh-ho, heigh ho, it's off to work I go!
Great devices to bring a story to life!
Thank you for the great tips!
Loved this lesson Renee! Happy lyrical revising everyone! :D
Renee, you choose one of my very favorite authors, Sharon Creech. She is so gifted! Poetic prose is a good way to start making an ms more memorable and fun to read aloud. Thank you for the tips and sections of your course.
Beautiful piece of writing. Thanks Renee for the clear examples.
These are the little things that make me want to come back to a book for read after read. Thanks for the examples, Renee! Great first day of ReviMo :-)
Thanks so much, Renee! Some very good points and useful tools.
Can't think of a better way to get started than with Renée! She not only knows her stuff, but she always explains things in a way that's grounded and approachable. Many thanks for the inspiration Meg and Renée (and Sharon Creech too)!
Thanks for a terrific start to this year's ReviMo, Meg and Renee!
Renee's course is so awesome. I had always tried to rely on my ear to let me know when something is lyrical, but what an incredible learning experience to see her explain exactly what it is that makes some writing so much better than others.
Thanks, Renee - especially for helping me understand what "lyrical language" is, and the magic of repetition.
Such helpful information as I know very little about poetry. I can
Great post, Renee! I loved the breakdown you did for us with examples!
Great post! Everyone should take Renee's class. She is awesome. You will NOT regret it!
Excellent post!
Thanks Renee!
The Walk Two Moons walk through was great. I like the way you phrased, "lyrical language is rich, layered, and descriptive, but not overwrought or sentimental." You perfectly put into words what I try to balance in my writing. Thanks, Renee!
Thanks, Renee. I've used a lot of what I learned in your class in my picture book that I'm revising today.
This is such helpful and detailed information, Renee. Thanks for sharing and I'm so lucky I get the benefit of your insights through our critique group. Thanks, Meg, for featuring one of my favorite kidlit peeps!
Wonderful examples. The balance in Sharon's storytelling pulls you right in. Thank you Renee.
Thank you for providing a mentor text - such a great example of balance and effect!
Thanks so much, Renee. I love how you've color coded it. I'm going to do this with one of my mss that I think is close to fully polished to see how colorful it is -- or isn't. Then I'll make that polished ms even shinier. Thank you, thank you. (I've wanted to take your course for some time. Will budget time and money for it this year.)
So happy you are sharing your lyrical language expertise here, Renee. Taking your class this past summer opened my eyes to many of those poetic techniques that we take for granted as we read...but need to utilize as we write. I love this excerpt you've given us...as I read it, I'm right there with the mc...and that's the whole idea. ;) :)
I'm excited to be part of ReviMo this year...thanks so much, Meg! What a great way to start off 2015! I'm working on a rough draft of a story for an anthology...then on my mystery for the Highlights contest...then revisions (hopefully using the techniques pointed out in this post) on a story from one of last year's Susanna Hill contests. Correct me if I'm wrong, but each day has 36 hours during ReviMo, right? :) :) :)
Thank you for sharing these tips, Renee. The sample text is appreciated. It gives me a better idea of using lyrical language as I do my revision process.
You make all of this easy to understand...thank you!
She makes it look so easy, right? But I can tell you (from experience) that these are the techniques she teaches in her fabulous course! Thanks so much Meg and Renee!!
Renee, your colorful tips will help me take my story to the next level. Thank you!
So happy to participate again this year Meg! I love that the first day is about writing with poetic techniques!!
Thanks. Will reread my manuscript with these things in mind
Oh, this looks SO good! I love poetic devices in picture books - and I really, REALLY need to incorporate them into my work. Thank you!!
I like color coding text while studying them. It's so easy to see where the magic happens and where your own work needs work.
Renee is right on target once again. Her posting definitely jump starts our week. This is an example of the quality of mentoring that Renee provides in The Lyrical Language Lab. Thank you, Renee!!!!
What a wonderful way to start ReviMo! I loved your post, Renee. I've heard so many wonderful things about the lyrical language lab and now I understand why. Thanks for inspiring me with your words and knowledge!
Well, I DO live on a hilltop, Carrie, so at least there's that! Tomorrow while I work I will listen to lyre music on YouTube -- next best thing to doing it yourself! :D
Thank you all for your lovely comments! I am so pleased that you found the post helpful. Of course, it's easy to do this type of exercise with something written by Sharon Creech. :)
Thank you for sharing these wonderful techniques. I strive to create musicality in my manuscripts. I think it is important to have a nice balance of literary devices in a story because it can definitely be overdone as you pointed out. Thanks again!
Great advice Renee. Of course I feel like my comment should be singing, but all the lyrical language went into revisions:)
Love the Creech example! Thank you, Renee!
A great lesson and a prime example of "showing, not telling." If you take her course, all of her lessons are this detailed and helpful! I highly recommend it!
Renee is the best. LOVE her. PLEASE take her Lyrical Language course! EVERY writer NEEDS her. YOU NEED HER!
thanks for the post, Renee. Great tips!
Thanks, Renee, for the reminder to use these poetic devices!
Excellent! I am going to start with sound devices and hyperbole. Thanks for the post.
ooh! Love it! I'm going to have to start a ReviMo folder :)
Sound devices are my favorite technique, Linda! You will find my article SOUND BITES: MAKING WRITING MUSICAL really helpful for that. There's a link for it under the post above, or here it is again: http://michellehbarnes.blogspot.it/2014/08/renee-m-latulippe-sound-bitesmaking_14.html
Happy revising!
Renee's analysis and advice are always spot-on! Thanks!
Thanks, Robyn! I'm so looking forward to her class after hearing how much you loved it and learned from it. :-)
Wow, this post is filled with amazing information. I love it! I'm hoping to take Renee's class this year. I can't wait! Thank you, Renee and Meg! :)
Hope you can/do Cheryl! You won't have a single regret. It's Amazing!
Fabulous Renee! Thank you and Happy Revising!
I'm always torn, promote Renee's class or keep it secret like Gollum and the golden ring. "My precious..." :D
Amazing in-depth post, Renee! Thank you so much! This one will have to be bookmarked!
You can see from this post how write I am. Write? *wink*
I KNOW, Meg. But I can't stand it and I have to tell it to the world. ;-)
These are some great ideas for revision! Thank you so much for this. I know there are times that my writing goes flat.
About the story: I had to open the story in a new tab to be able to zoom into it. Maybe it's just my browser. If you are having trouble reading the story try right clicking it and opening it in a new tab.
Phenomenal post from the hill top! Perfect for the revision I'm tackling today! Thanks, Renee!
Great post, Renee! What a wonderful way to begin ReviMo 2015! I have always
color-coded my critique suggestions and will now color code for poetic techniques!
Loved seeing the excerpt from the story, Walk Two Moons, and its poetic
breakdown
Thanks, Renee. Super post. I have used poetic techniques many times, but never considered how they improved the story and helped with the voice.
I love the exemplar text and the way you have analysed it. I love the phrases of reported speech and dialogue that give you the authentic voice of her relatives.
I took the class and it is fabulous. Good reminder! Thanks Renee!
Perfecto!
Time to use the fine tooth comb to tidy up these manuscripts. Thank you, Renee :)
You'll love it Saundra! Great price, lessons and lots of expert feedback! :D
Thank you, Renee! The story excerpt is a great way to show us how to use lyrical language in our writing.
Thanks for the post. It is so interesting to see the techniques used in great writing .
Wow, this is fantastic. What a great example of lyrical writing.
This post was very helpful. Love how the poetic techniques were explained.
This is great, Renee, not only for us writers but for teachers of reading & writing. Thank you!!
Thanks so much, Renee! I really appreciated the text and the different colour-coded sections and their explanations, that has helped so much and is definitely something I'll be referring to again and again as I revise.
Great post, Renee...most appreciated by my stories waiting to be dressed in flowing prose.
Wow! I really loved this post!!! Thank you for sharing - I love to analyze text. What an absolutely wonderful way to star Revimo - with plenty of pizazz!!
Excellent post, Renee! I'll re-read it later tonight and try your suggestions.
Renee, Great information. I am reading out loud!
What a wonderful, helpful post! Thank you, Renee.
Loved this post. I can't wait to use these techniques on my revisions. :-)
I a so grateful, Meg for this strong nudge to revise. I have been needing to revise this picture book for a long while. I woke up this morning with the best idea yet as to what will make it better. I added that and it is wonderful. However, I had a series of three written with these characters and now I'm afraid it may turn into a chapter book by putting all three picture books together. Ooops.
I read this post this morning but couldn't figure out how to post! Now at just before midnight I figured it out! Thank you for posting this. In my head I often have a sense of what kind of tone I want a story to have but have trouble choosing the right words to convey the tone I want. I will print & file this piece for future reference . . . and use it now!
Renee. This is so helpful to me because, I'm not a poet at all. You have shown me other ways to accomplish so rhythm and beauty in my writing. Thanks.
I love the example. Thanks for the great post.
Great idea. Time to get out my markers!
Thanks for sharing your knowledge, Renee, and giving us a sneak peak imto your lyrical language class. It is on my wish list.
Thanks, Renee! You're so generous about sharing your expertise.
Laurie J. Edwards
Thanks for sharing, Renee! This will be fun to explore further.
What a fantastic way to start, ReviMo! I will now look for ways to incorporate poetic techniques to make my story sing!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us! Fabulously written.
Thank you for sharing! I recently bought and started reading "Word Magic for Writers" and am excited about using poetic techniques in my writing.
Thanks, Renee. I'll keep this post close by and I revise. Great way to start the week.
I read Walk Two Moons ages ago. I had forgotten how lovely the language is. Thanks for marking up the text with explanation of what makes the book sing! Very helpful!
Thank you very much for sharing the pages of text and you color coded technique. This is truly a useful, helpful tool.
Thank you very much for sharing the pages of text and your color coded technique. This is truly a useful, helpful tool.
Wonderful post! Thank you Renee for sharing your wisdom and your time! Love the color coded technique and lyrical language sounds wonderful!
Thanks for the insights Renee!! A lot of useful information about looking at language. Time for another look at my manuscript!
I've heard so much about Renee's course and seeing her lay it out in this post helped me understand why everyone speaks so highly! Thanks for sharing!
Very interesting, Renee! I love your breakdown. (But Carrie said it better. :) )
Thank you for such and in depth interview. It will definitely help
Great post. As I review over and over, I am slowly getting it.
Why does my heart sing every time I read something by Renee? It's Day 2 now and I still hear the music.
Well, dang, that's an awfully nice thing to say! Sniff.... :)
Yea, I didn't see the comment section yesterday. Enjoyed the article!
What great insights into using all of these techniques. I plan to go back over my ms. now OUT LOUD to see where they might fall flat!
Revised yesterday!
Thank you, Renee. Wonderful advice with a wonderful example!
You are a poet after my own heart, Renée! Wonderful stuff!
Whoa and Wow! this is an amazing post. I'm so grateful to the visual example. I have to see it to get it, ya know. And I got it. Reading my story outloud was an...interesting exercise. Reading it in front of others is even more interesting. But that is what I did. And what did I find? Well, I had lyrical language that I was going to delete. I thought it was just...WRONG. It still might be. However, when I take your class, I'll get gooder at identifying such writing techniques. Great post. I'm so glad you were our first advisor.
Pamela, I can't stress enough the importance of reading out loud -- CONSTANTLY! This is what I do when I compose a poem, a story, an article, or an essay. Doesn't matter what it is ... good writing is rhythmical and pleasing to the ear, so there's no other way to do it. Keep reading out loud!
Thank you Renee - the example was very helpful and your post - so inspiring!
Wow. I learned a lot from your post today! Now all I have to do is apply it to my own works. Thanks Renee.
Such a colorful lesson, Renee. Thank you. ~Suzy Leopold
I learned SO much from your post! Thank you so much!
Renee, I am reading my work aloud... I hope it helps me! Thank you for your great ideas!
Love the color coded analysis!
Looking forward to applying your awesome advise! Thanks! :)
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