ReviMo Day 1 with Renee LaTulippe

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Welcome, everyone! May your revisions be amazingly good and plentiful during ReviMo 2015. Join us in Facebook group, if you'd like. Hopefully we'll get some revision sprints/stampedes going in there...

And now on to our first guest for 2015 - Renee LaTulippe. Take it away, Renee!


Revision Tip: Enrich Your Text with Poetic Techniques
by Renée M. LaTulippe

As an editor and teacher, there is nothing that lights my creative fire more than analyzing a text at the nitty-gritty language level and discovering where I can punch that baby up.


If your text feels listless or is suffering from a general malaise, it probably needs a shot of poetry to get it on its feet again. Throughout my Lyrical Language Lab course, I share many examples of how poetic techniques are used in lyrical prose in picture books, MG, and YA fiction. 





What is lyrical prose?

Lyrical prose…

  • is rich, layered, and descriptive, but not overwrought or sentimental 
  • conveys images with fresh but natural language 
  • is poetic, rhythmic, and musical 
The passage below is the opening of the marvelous Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech. As you read, be aware of
  • the author’s craft 
  • when and how the poetic techniques of imagery, simile, metaphor, and other figurative and sensory language are used and how they support the story 
  • when and how poetic sound devices are used 
  • the use of specific diction and how it supports the story 
  • the rhythms, cadences, and pauses within the passage 
I also encourage you to read this excerpt out loud so you can better “live” the literature and hear the sounds and rhythms crafted by the author.

Click the image to enlarge and zoom for reading.

    So what’s going on here? Lots of poetic technique! Let’s take a look:

  • RED = Figurative language and imagery. Every simile, metaphor, and image is true to the MC’s voice. We know she is a country girl, and this is held up by the use of such phrases as “a caboodle of houses roosting” and “like a filly trailing behind a mare.
  • FUCHSIA = Diction. The author’s choice of specific words and expressions also supports the setting and tone, and helps define the MC and other characters. On page 4, Gramps uses the phrase “a hill of beans,” a phrase that in regular writing would be avoided because it’s a cliché. But it’s perfect as dialogue for Gramps, because it’s authentic to what a real grandfather — or any of us, really — would say in everyday speech. 
  • PURPLE = Repetition. Creech uses a lot of repetition and parallel structure (as in the list of reasons on page 5) to add emphasis and create a certain rhythm and musicality. This technique also gives us more insight into the character and what is important to her, and sets up the “style” of this character’s voice. From the first few pages, we know what to expect in terms of how this character expresses herself. Repetition also adds to the humor.
  • GREEN = Sound devices. Creech uses some alliteration and assonance throughout, but here she goes for onomatopoeia to give voice to the wind and the darkness. She could have easily written this sentence plainly, without the use of poetic technique. Why might she have chosen to write it this way?
  • BLUE = Hyperbole (exaggeration), which is a form of figurative language. Along with repetition, hyperbole can heighten the humor and give insight into how the MC feels. It is also an authentic choice for the MC, since children are given to exaggeration and drama.
  • Although Creech uses many poetic techniques in her writing, it is not overdone, nor does it call attention to itself. She has found the perfect balance between lyrical language and story, and one does not detract from the other.
  • It would be very easy to point out the beauty of every line in this passage, for there are many more riches to mine here than what I’ve listed. I again encourage you to read it out loud to hear the rhythm and feel the flow of the words. There is not one stumbling block or clumsy phrase, or at least none that I found. 

Your Revision Mission: Read your manuscript (or a portion of it) out loud. Look for places where you can use poetic techniques to punch up your text and make it more vibrant, concise, and musical. Consider all poetic techniques: imagery, figurative language, metaphor, sound devices, specific diction, and so on. I guarantee that adding a bit of poetry to your text will help you whip that sucker into shape and make it SING.

*****

Would you like some more sneak peeks into The Lyrical Language Lab lessons? Check out Renée’s contributor posts at Michelle Barnes’ blog, Today’s Little Ditty:


Thank you Renee!

One lucky winner will get to take Renee's Lyrical Language Lab Course for free, so be sure to revise all seven days if you'd like a shot at it! And check out the fabulous prizes here, if you haven't seen them already. Happy revising!











http://www.nowaterriver.com/my-books/


Renée M. LaTulippe has co-authored nine early readers and a volume of poetry titled Lizard Lou: a collection of rhymes old and new (Moonbeam Children’s Book Award) for All About Learning Press, where she is also the editor, and has poems in several editions of The Poetry Friday Anthology series as well as upcoming anthologies. She developed and teaches the online course The Lyrical Language Lab: Punching Up Prose with Poetry and blogs on children’s poetry at NoWaterRiver.com. Renée holds theater and English education degrees from Marymount Manhattan College and New York University, and taught English and theater in NYC before moving to Italy, where she lives with her husband and twin boys.
Facebook: NoWaterRiver
Twitter: @ReneeMLaTulippe


Copyright (c) 2015 Renée M. LaTulippe. This article is partially excerpted from lessons in the online course The Lyrical Language Lab: Punching Up Prose with Poetry. All rights reserved.

113 comments :

flintsuter said...

Love the music in the language! To give the character their own lyrical flavor, is to make them more "them!"

Cecilia Clark said...

wow colour coding the editing process is a fabulous tool. Thank you Renee for this excellent tip.

Doris Stone said...

Thank you, Renee for the colorful tips. You've inspired me to analyzing and punching up the first story in my stack of manuscripts awaiting revision. Heigh-ho, heigh ho, it's off to work I go!

Lori Mozdzierz said...

Great devices to bring a story to life!

Laura Zimmermann said...

Thank you for the great tips!

MegMillerWrites said...

Loved this lesson Renee! Happy lyrical revising everyone! :D

Kathy Halsey said...

Renee, you choose one of my very favorite authors, Sharon Creech. She is so gifted! Poetic prose is a good way to start making an ms more memorable and fun to read aloud. Thank you for the tips and sections of your course.

Rena Traxel Boudreau said...

Beautiful piece of writing. Thanks Renee for the clear examples.

pennyklostermann said...

These are the little things that make me want to come back to a book for read after read. Thanks for the examples, Renee! Great first day of ReviMo :-)

Sue Poduska said...

Thanks so much, Renee! Some very good points and useful tools.

Michelle Heidenrich Barnes said...

Can't think of a better way to get started than with Renée! She not only knows her stuff, but she always explains things in a way that's grounded and approachable. Many thanks for the inspiration Meg and Renée (and Sharon Creech too)!

Teresa Robeson said...

Thanks for a terrific start to this year's ReviMo, Meg and Renee!

Renee's course is so awesome. I had always tried to rely on my ear to let me know when something is lyrical, but what an incredible learning experience to see her explain exactly what it is that makes some writing so much better than others.

Sue Heavenrich said...

Thanks, Renee - especially for helping me understand what "lyrical language" is, and the magic of repetition.

Kimberly Cowger said...

Such helpful information as I know very little about poetry. I can

Rebecca Colby said...

Great post, Renee! I loved the breakdown you did for us with examples!

Debra Shumaker said...

Great post! Everyone should take Renee's class. She is awesome. You will NOT regret it!

Jen Swanson said...

Excellent post!
Thanks Renee!

Hannah Holt said...

The Walk Two Moons walk through was great. I like the way you phrased, "lyrical language is rich, layered, and descriptive, but not overwrought or sentimental." You perfectly put into words what I try to balance in my writing. Thanks, Renee!

Ellen Leventhal said...

Thanks, Renee. I've used a lot of what I learned in your class in my picture book that I'm revising today.

Sylvia Liu said...

This is such helpful and detailed information, Renee. Thanks for sharing and I'm so lucky I get the benefit of your insights through our critique group. Thanks, Meg, for featuring one of my favorite kidlit peeps!

Janie Reinart said...

Wonderful examples. The balance in Sharon's storytelling pulls you right in. Thank you Renee.

Beth A said...

Thank you for providing a mentor text - such a great example of balance and effect!

Carol Munro said...

Thanks so much, Renee. I love how you've color coded it. I'm going to do this with one of my mss that I think is close to fully polished to see how colorful it is -- or isn't. Then I'll make that polished ms even shinier. Thank you, thank you. (I've wanted to take your course for some time. Will budget time and money for it this year.)

Vivian Kirkfield said...

So happy you are sharing your lyrical language expertise here, Renee. Taking your class this past summer opened my eyes to many of those poetic techniques that we take for granted as we read...but need to utilize as we write. I love this excerpt you've given us...as I read it, I'm right there with the mc...and that's the whole idea. ;) :)

I'm excited to be part of ReviMo this year...thanks so much, Meg! What a great way to start off 2015! I'm working on a rough draft of a story for an anthology...then on my mystery for the Highlights contest...then revisions (hopefully using the techniques pointed out in this post) on a story from one of last year's Susanna Hill contests. Correct me if I'm wrong, but each day has 36 hours during ReviMo, right? :) :) :)

Charlotte Dixon said...

Thank you for sharing these tips, Renee. The sample text is appreciated. It gives me a better idea of using lyrical language as I do my revision process.

Nicole Popel said...

You make all of this easy to understand...thank you!

Elaine Kiely Kearns said...

She makes it look so easy, right? But I can tell you (from experience) that these are the techniques she teaches in her fabulous course! Thanks so much Meg and Renee!!

deborahhwilliams said...

Renee, your colorful tips will help me take my story to the next level. Thank you!

Angie Karcher said...

So happy to participate again this year Meg! I love that the first day is about writing with poetic techniques!!

rosemary said...

Thanks. Will reread my manuscript with these things in mind

Joanne Sher said...

Oh, this looks SO good! I love poetic devices in picture books - and I really, REALLY need to incorporate them into my work. Thank you!!

Juliana Lee said...

I like color coding text while studying them. It's so easy to see where the magic happens and where your own work needs work.

Denise Engle said...

Renee is right on target once again. Her posting definitely jump starts our week. This is an example of the quality of mentoring that Renee provides in The Lyrical Language Lab. Thank you, Renee!!!!

Kirsti Call said...

What a wonderful way to start ReviMo! I loved your post, Renee. I've heard so many wonderful things about the lyrical language lab and now I understand why. Thanks for inspiring me with your words and knowledge!

Renee LaTulippe said...

Well, I DO live on a hilltop, Carrie, so at least there's that! Tomorrow while I work I will listen to lyre music on YouTube -- next best thing to doing it yourself! :D

Renee LaTulippe said...

Thank you all for your lovely comments! I am so pleased that you found the post helpful. Of course, it's easy to do this type of exercise with something written by Sharon Creech. :)

AJ Irving said...

Thank you for sharing these wonderful techniques. I strive to create musicality in my manuscripts. I think it is important to have a nice balance of literary devices in a story because it can definitely be overdone as you pointed out. Thanks again!

Lauri Meyers said...

Great advice Renee. Of course I feel like my comment should be singing, but all the lyrical language went into revisions:)

Lisa Rivard said...

Love the Creech example! Thank you, Renee!

Debbie Yasaki said...

A great lesson and a prime example of "showing, not telling." If you take her course, all of her lessons are this detailed and helpful! I highly recommend it!

Robyn Campbell said...

Renee is the best. LOVE her. PLEASE take her Lyrical Language course! EVERY writer NEEDS her. YOU NEED HER!

Janet Smart said...

thanks for the post, Renee. Great tips!

Tina Cho said...

Thanks, Renee, for the reminder to use these poetic devices!

Linda Schueler said...

Excellent! I am going to start with sound devices and hyperbole. Thanks for the post.

Erik Ammon said...

ooh! Love it! I'm going to have to start a ReviMo folder :)

Renee LaTulippe said...

Sound devices are my favorite technique, Linda! You will find my article SOUND BITES: MAKING WRITING MUSICAL really helpful for that. There's a link for it under the post above, or here it is again: http://michellehbarnes.blogspot.it/2014/08/renee-m-latulippe-sound-bitesmaking_14.html


Happy revising!

Sandy P said...

Renee's analysis and advice are always spot-on! Thanks!

Cheryl Secomb said...

Thanks, Robyn! I'm so looking forward to her class after hearing how much you loved it and learned from it. :-)

Cheryl Secomb said...

Wow, this post is filled with amazing information. I love it! I'm hoping to take Renee's class this year. I can't wait! Thank you, Renee and Meg! :)

MegMillerWrites said...

Hope you can/do Cheryl! You won't have a single regret. It's Amazing!

Cathy Ballou Mealey said...

Fabulous Renee! Thank you and Happy Revising!

MegMillerWrites said...

I'm always torn, promote Renee's class or keep it secret like Gollum and the golden ring. "My precious..." :D

Carrie Charley Brown said...

Amazing in-depth post, Renee! Thank you so much! This one will have to be bookmarked!

Robyn Campbell said...

You can see from this post how write I am. Write? *wink*

Robyn Campbell said...

I KNOW, Meg. But I can't stand it and I have to tell it to the world. ;-)

Dani Duck said...

These are some great ideas for revision! Thank you so much for this. I know there are times that my writing goes flat.



About the story: I had to open the story in a new tab to be able to zoom into it. Maybe it's just my browser. If you are having trouble reading the story try right clicking it and opening it in a new tab.

Julie Rowan-Zoch said...

Phenomenal post from the hill top! Perfect for the revision I'm tackling today! Thanks, Renee!

saputnam said...

Great post, Renee! What a wonderful way to begin ReviMo 2015! I have always
color-coded my critique suggestions and will now color code for poetic techniques!
Loved seeing the excerpt from the story, Walk Two Moons, and its poetic
breakdown

Debra Daugherty said...

Thanks, Renee. Super post. I have used poetic techniques many times, but never considered how they improved the story and helped with the voice.

June Perkins said...

I love the exemplar text and the way you have analysed it. I love the phrases of reported speech and dialogue that give you the authentic voice of her relatives.

littledbl said...

I took the class and it is fabulous. Good reminder! Thanks Renee!

Carrie Finison said...

Perfecto!

Rene` Diane Aube said...

Time to use the fine tooth comb to tidy up these manuscripts. Thank you, Renee :)

MegMillerWrites said...

You'll love it Saundra! Great price, lessons and lots of expert feedback! :D

Manju Howard said...

Thank you, Renee! The story excerpt is a great way to show us how to use lyrical language in our writing.

Katie Gast said...

Thanks for the post. It is so interesting to see the techniques used in great writing .

Lynn Anne Carol said...

Wow, this is fantastic. What a great example of lyrical writing.

Shirley Johnson said...

This post was very helpful. Love how the poetic techniques were explained.

Jane Heitman Healy said...

This is great, Renee, not only for us writers but for teachers of reading & writing. Thank you!!

Tracy said...

Thanks so much, Renee! I really appreciated the text and the different colour-coded sections and their explanations, that has helped so much and is definitely something I'll be referring to again and again as I revise.

Damon Dean said...

Great post, Renee...most appreciated by my stories waiting to be dressed in flowing prose.

Theresa Love said...

Wow! I really loved this post!!! Thank you for sharing - I love to analyze text. What an absolutely wonderful way to star Revimo - with plenty of pizazz!!

Sue Frye said...

Excellent post, Renee! I'll re-read it later tonight and try your suggestions.

Deirdre Sheridan Englehart said...

Renee, Great information. I am reading out loud!

Elizabeth Brown said...

What a wonderful, helpful post! Thank you, Renee.

Margaret Greanias said...

Loved this post. I can't wait to use these techniques on my revisions. :-)

Nina said...

I a so grateful, Meg for this strong nudge to revise. I have been needing to revise this picture book for a long while. I woke up this morning with the best idea yet as to what will make it better. I added that and it is wonderful. However, I had a series of three written with these characters and now I'm afraid it may turn into a chapter book by putting all three picture books together. Ooops.

Heather Pierce Stigall said...

I read this post this morning but couldn't figure out how to post! Now at just before midnight I figured it out! Thank you for posting this. In my head I often have a sense of what kind of tone I want a story to have but have trouble choosing the right words to convey the tone I want. I will print & file this piece for future reference . . . and use it now!

Nina said...

Renee. This is so helpful to me because, I'm not a poet at all. You have shown me other ways to accomplish so rhythm and beauty in my writing. Thanks.

Rachel Stones said...

I love the example. Thanks for the great post.

Christine Irvin said...

Great idea. Time to get out my markers!

Romelle Broas said...

Thanks for sharing your knowledge, Renee, and giving us a sneak peak imto your lyrical language class. It is on my wish list.

Laurie J. Edwards said...

Thanks, Renee! You're so generous about sharing your expertise.

Laurie J. Edwards

Monica Lauscher said...

Thanks for sharing, Renee! This will be fun to explore further.

Gabi Snyder said...

What a fantastic way to start, ReviMo! I will now look for ways to incorporate poetic techniques to make my story sing!

Maria Oka said...

Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us! Fabulously written.

Klmcmorranmaus said...

Thank you for sharing! I recently bought and started reading "Word Magic for Writers" and am excited about using poetic techniques in my writing.

mona said...

Thanks, Renee. I'll keep this post close by and I revise. Great way to start the week.

Linda Andersen said...

I read Walk Two Moons ages ago. I had forgotten how lovely the language is. Thanks for marking up the text with explanation of what makes the book sing! Very helpful!

Sharalyn A. Edgeberg said...

Thank you very much for sharing the pages of text and you color coded technique. This is truly a useful, helpful tool.

Sharalyn A. Edgeberg said...

Thank you very much for sharing the pages of text and your color coded technique. This is truly a useful, helpful tool.

Kelly Vavala said...

Wonderful post! Thank you Renee for sharing your wisdom and your time! Love the color coded technique and lyrical language sounds wonderful!

Nat Keller said...

Thanks for the insights Renee!! A lot of useful information about looking at language. Time for another look at my manuscript!

Kristen Schroeder said...

I've heard so much about Renee's course and seeing her lay it out in this post helped me understand why everyone speaks so highly! Thanks for sharing!

Diana Murray said...

Very interesting, Renee! I love your breakdown. (But Carrie said it better. :) )

LauraJ said...

Thank you for such and in depth interview. It will definitely help

Linda Schueler said...

Great post. As I review over and over, I am slowly getting it.

Sydney O'Neill said...

Why does my heart sing every time I read something by Renee? It's Day 2 now and I still hear the music.

Renee LaTulippe said...

Well, dang, that's an awfully nice thing to say! Sniff.... :)

Anita Banks said...

Yea, I didn't see the comment section yesterday. Enjoyed the article!

Tanya Konerman said...

What great insights into using all of these techniques. I plan to go back over my ms. now OUT LOUD to see where they might fall flat!

Debbie said...

Revised yesterday!

Tracy Molitors said...

Thank you, Renee. Wonderful advice with a wonderful example!

BJ Lee said...

You are a poet after my own heart, Renée! Wonderful stuff!

Pamela Courtney said...

Whoa and Wow! this is an amazing post. I'm so grateful to the visual example. I have to see it to get it, ya know. And I got it. Reading my story outloud was an...interesting exercise. Reading it in front of others is even more interesting. But that is what I did. And what did I find? Well, I had lyrical language that I was going to delete. I thought it was just...WRONG. It still might be. However, when I take your class, I'll get gooder at identifying such writing techniques. Great post. I'm so glad you were our first advisor.

Renee LaTulippe said...

Pamela, I can't stress enough the importance of reading out loud -- CONSTANTLY! This is what I do when I compose a poem, a story, an article, or an essay. Doesn't matter what it is ... good writing is rhythmical and pleasing to the ear, so there's no other way to do it. Keep reading out loud!

Dawn Young said...

Thank you Renee - the example was very helpful and your post - so inspiring!

Angela Turner said...

Wow. I learned a lot from your post today! Now all I have to do is apply it to my own works. Thanks Renee.

Suzy said...

Such a colorful lesson, Renee. Thank you. ~Suzy Leopold

Lauren Kerstein said...

I learned SO much from your post! Thank you so much!

Deirdre Sheridan Englehart said...

Renee, I am reading my work aloud... I hope it helps me! Thank you for your great ideas!

Annie Bailey said...

Love the color coded analysis!

Donna Rossman said...

Looking forward to applying your awesome advise! Thanks! :)